love life live love

Safe Travels

2007-04-24T09:17:00.000+10:00

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause you're leaving on a jet plane
I know when you'll be back again
Although babe, I hate you to go

Woooohoooo It's Raining

2007-04-23T13:57:00.000+10:00

Late yesterday afternoon Sydney got a lashing. Loads of lightning, thunder and RAIN. Big fat raindrops which I stood in until I got cold. And it wasn't just a passing afternoon thunderstorm, the rain continued overnight and it's still raining now. We can't say it's broken the drought. We'd probably need a straight month of this before that could happen. Let's keep our fingers crossed it can become reality.

Sad News

2007-04-17T08:18:00.000+10:00

The man I last spoke about who was missing in the area where we spent last Easter was found, dead at the bottom of a deep gorge. He was 38 and married and from Sydney. Authorities say he probably died that first night - it was bitterly cold that night on Good Friday and it's impossible to imagine how a seriously injured person would have been able to survive such extreme conditions. My thoughts are with his family and friends.

Friday the 13th

2007-04-13T07:43:00.000+10:00

I love Fridays and the number 13. I love Autumn colour and the crispness of the air in the morning. Have a good weekend peoples. And my thoughts are with the man who is lost in the Kanangra Walls area where we were last weekend. I can't imagine anyone having to spend just 1 night out there in that bitter coldness.

4 Day Weekends Should Be Law!

2007-04-11T14:37:00.000+10:00

Easter was lovely. We went to Oberon. A small town in the Blue Mountains. We camped. We walked. We picked mushrooms - although they weren't the edible varities. It was freezing cold. The days were sunny and perfectly autumnal. A friend showed us his beautiful land. It was awesome. There is just so much beautiful country it's hard to fathom how one can see it all in one lifetime.

Since Last Time

2007-04-01T22:01:00.000+10:00

The water temperature is now much warmer than the night air temperature but I still think dark water looks sharky.

It seems only a small percentage of the population decided to be part of Earth Hour. I think it was a great idea. Reeducation about energy use is now totally necessary. In Sydney from 7.30-8.30pm we were asked to turn off all our lights and all standby electronic products not in use.

Need to see more exhibitions. Need more visual stimulus and input. Need more art in my life.

Hi, Again!

2007-03-27T08:29:00.000+10:00

Wow, it's been a lot longer than I was hoping it to be.

I've been trying to work out what I want to say here, and I still haven't made a decision. But this morning I stupidly turned on the TV of all things to try and get some information about the Hicks trial in Guantanamo. I say stupidly, because in this country, morning TV is really just a vacuous superficial conservative waste of airspace and bandwidth. So what was I thinking?

So what did I learn? Well, firstly I learnt that the reporter for the 7 Morning Show, Rani Sadler is in no way shape or form impartial, objective or informed. She made ridiculous screwed up faces of disgust almost any time she needed to refer to David Hicks or his appearance. Referring to his being overweight and his inability to speak normally and the fact he was wearing his prison clothes was so incredibly and blatantly disrespectful and uncompassionate. The man has lived in solitary confinement for years. Putting aside the fact that he would not have been getting any physical exercise, healthy food and fresh air the man hasn't been "socialising" and you don't have to be a trained psychologist to know the effects that solitary confinement may have on a person's mental, emotional and spiritual health. The Today Show on Channel 9 wasn't much better - it gave Alexander Downer the platform to air his fascist ideas and promote the fear factor that his party continues to go on with.

So what did I really learn today? Not to turn the box on in the morning at all, anymore. And limit it at all other times.

The photos are from the last couple of weeks and represent autumn and my moods. Have a nice day everyone.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2007-02-14T08:21:00.001+11:00

Hi! Anyone still out there?

Arriving back from another incredible roadtrip through this amazing country was anti-climactic to say the least. The normal post holiday blues were coupled with the fact that it seemed I'd hit the delete button on my Kinesiological Knowledge and the scramble back to upload everything I'd learnt in 2006 for yesterday's exams was a struggle indeed.

But hard work does pay off. I can report that my results exceeded my expectations - not a perfect score but almost....I'm ecstatic.

Huge thanks to Milva for playing such a huge part yestereday! She was the live bod I worked on and was amazing. This was a powerful balance - she was open to the process completely and totally candid in front of a 3rd person (my teacher) which contributed I'm sure to my teachers appraisal of the balance.

I'm not sure how this blog is going to continue this year...I think I need to change the direction, the style, the purpose. So now that I have more time on my hands I really look forward to catching up with blogs all round....and see what alot of you have been up to.

Last Post for 2006

2006-12-23T07:37:00.000+11:00

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you if you're that way inclined. And if you're not, Happy Holidays!!!

We're about to pack our car and head off on another adventure to a completely new part of the country.

Be well, be safe, be happy and see you in 2007!

blissnessmentissimo

2006-12-21T14:41:00.000+11:00

Hang on. It's Thursday. 2 whole days before we leave and I think it's all basically done. I'm ahead of time. Ahead of myself. And now I can seriously get back to what I do best - man I'm looking foward to this summer!

counting down....

2006-12-19T21:31:00.000+11:00

I can see the finish line. I have one final essay to write and then I can hand in my work for the year. I'm envisaging around lunch time tomorrow I'll be seriously clicking my heels and starting the partying!!!!

And of course if you're wondering whether it snows at this time of the year in Sydney - it doesn't. I've just been looking back at last Xmas and our time in Germany (I was there for 3 months) and here are some Xmassy type shots to help spread the cheer...

in a spin

2006-12-13T13:38:00.000+11:00

Parties, lights, action!
Full throttle.
Keep floating.
Go with the flow.
Enjoy all the seconds that make up an hour,
a day.

Notes from December

2006-12-11T12:52:00.000+11:00

Such a lovely bunch of you drop by so often and I need to apologise to you faithful few for the lack of posts here lately. Apologies also for not having the time to drop by your sites as well. It's just a time issue, not a motivational issue. Just before Xmas we'll be heading off on a 3 week road trip. And that's going to mean NO posts until 2007.

So before that time I'm going to try and keep you interested in stopping by with more than I've been offering in the past months.

Thanks for hanging in there guys! Love you all!

Lovely Little Happenings

2006-12-01T15:54:00.000+11:00

Another evening enjoying a Punjabi Thali was had this week. Due to my exhaustion from a day spent in a seminar or the fact I was so overly sated from the food, my brain just wasn't altogether in the present moment. Shortly after arriving back at home my phone rang. A man with a strange accent asked me if I was me, and then told me he was looking at my driving license. BING. I realised I didn't have my purse with me and had obviously let it drop from my lap while scoffing down the delicious Thali morsels. We raced back to the restaurant, and the eccentric looking man who I'd had eye contact with when he first entered the restaurant was holding my little orange purse aloft. At the time of the initial eye contact I felt something about this man but couldn't quite work out what I was feeling. I thanked him profusely and felt another strange feeling which I still can't understand and wanted to offer him a monetary reward whereby he loudly and dramatically and with great hand flourishes told me NO. I even had to plead several times just getting his first name. And to top things off, Marco then tells me that 6 months earlier, they had been sitting at the very table I'd been at, and he had lost his wallet in exactly the same manner and had it returned to them in the same way. His partner the whole time nodding her head at me. And then he asked me whether I thought Indians believe in Feng Shui.

And apart from that I can report my unusally high stress levels at the end of last week have greatly diminished. My teacher accepted my reasons for moving my exam date forward. This week I've completed more balances than I could have dreamed about and the huge mountain of tasks needed to be handed in before I depart for our holiday looks more achievable than ever. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. There is so much to be thankful for - and I am.

R i T u A l

2006-11-22T12:02:00.000+11:00

Morning, noon or night....it doesn't matter. This place is so super special to me. It helps quieten my mind. It energises. I just can't live without it.

Before & After

2006-11-22T11:55:00.000+11:00

Not only do I love the taste of rhubarb & apple

but these colours fill my soul.

I Love Daylight Savings

2006-11-15T08:50:00.000+11:00

I love that the sun wakes me up early and easily....tuning my body clock in with the universes' natural rhythm.

I love that the sun isn't at it's burning peak when I'm on the beach in the morning, therefore no sunscreen is required.

I love how the afternoons just go on and on and on. And the evenings take so long to begin. And all those hours turn into making it feel like we're on a holiday or it's the weekend or something and it's only just a normal week night. I just somehow feel more alive.

L a T e L y

2006-11-14T10:54:00.000+11:00

The year rolls onward. It's already mid November. A thunderstorm in the middle of the day brings with it thunder, and huge raindrops and when it disappears the humidity rises and everything feels cleaner and greener. Families of whales drop in at my local beach. The calves are so agile they catapult themselves entirely out of the water. The mothers and fathers ever so encouraging slapping their tails with delight. The lucky few who have spotted them glued to every movement they make. The Japanese tourists who finally understand what I'm trying to tell them are as excited as I am. I bite my tongue instead of blasting them about their scientific murder research. Another wedding. Jacaranda blossom like confetti everywhere you look. Morning beach walks. Evening beach walks. BBQ's. Mosquitoes. Cockroaches. Cats in heat. A child goes missing at the beach. 15 minutes never felt so long. The ugly and worst thoughts going through your mind. The relief when she's found. Still feeling the loss of my uncle. Planning the summer holiday. Watching old slides. Reminiscing. Road trips rock. Negotiating my exam date so our holiday can happen. Already mapping out our stops. Already imagining the blissful feeling of wide open spaces. Camping. Discovering a new part of this amazing country. Everything just feels so good right now.

tOdAy's PoSt Is BrOuGhT tO YoU bY tHe CoLoUr ReD.

2006-11-09T16:19:00.000+11:00

Slim pickings around here I know. Words are great but these pics for now can help fill out where I've been and where I'm at. And I'm just loving red right now. Can't get enough of it.

Freaking Out

2006-10-31T08:09:00.000+11:00

Tomorrow is November. And we're down to the last 60 days of the year. And with that brings an intensifying pressure for me and my studies. After this last module we've been given the outline for the proceedings until the exam early next year. The list of things to be accomplished before then seems impossible right now. Our annual summer holiday will either need to be radically shortened or called off all together. I'm not alone in thinking any of this. All my fellow students have the same realisation. Which not only saddens me but means the few weeks annual leave JD gets a year isn't going to be used for discovering new places nor for having exciting travel adventures.

Enough said. I need to get on with my day. Time is of the essence. I need fewer distractions. And yet I seem to keep creating more.

If Every Day Could Be The Weekend...

2006-10-23T14:33:00.000+10:00

...wouldn't life be awesome?!

Since last I spoke all I seem to have been doing is eating out and having a pretty good time. It's been hard. Really it has. The only bummer to speak of is that we have been unable to sell our old car. So if anyone out there wants a gorgeous zippy little red Honda Civic that's a cool retro 1989 model do let me know! Otherwise I fear I'll go nuts wasting time and energy on people who aren't really interested in buying it.

Summer disappeared for a bit this weekend. It was only 16 degrees all day Saturday. Untold. I had the heater on and couldn't get warm.

Saturday afternoon was spent with the lovely nieces. These girls are just so amazing in so many ways, but my god they exhausted us. After they left we were up for almost nothing else. So treated ourselves to dinner out, again, and got a stack of DVDs. My favourite one being, and perhaps is now in my all time favourite list: The Weeping Camel. Without saying anything more about this than it's a doco style film set in Mongolia - it is a definitive MUST SEE NOW! Thanks Milva for pointing me in the right direction!

And most of Sunday was just about chilling and enjoying and the beach was just superb - almost noone was there.

Time Flies When You're Having Fun...

2006-10-18T08:57:00.000+10:00

9 years ago today....we stood on a clifftop overlooking an emerald green harbour and held hands, exchanged words & rings before our families and friends. It seriously feels like only a couple of years ago.

Happy Birthday to Us!

Yes You! You Can Change the World!

2006-10-18T08:34:00.000+10:00

Finally finally went and saw "An Inconvenient Truth" last night. So I obviously don't need to be convinced about the massive ecological disaster we're creating down here on planet earth but I think Al Gore's delivery and concern and really easy to understand graphics make this a must see film - for everyone.

I couldn't help thinking what the world may have been like if he'd become president of the US instead of it being stolen from him. Would everything be totally different now? Or would he have been coerced and made to conform to the policies that the Mr Bigs of the world seem to enforce?

But maybe, it's all been a blessing. Maybe he can do way more with his power and knowledge out of the White House. Let's hope the Mr Bigs kids and grandkids force them to go see this film and start changing their ways.

Grau in Grau....

2006-10-17T14:36:00.000+10:00

....translated into English basically means "the weather is all grey and overcast and hasn't lifted or changed all day".

That kind of weather used to do my head in when I lived in Hannover. For days on end at the end of winter it would be like that. Without seeing the blueness of the immense universe my brain would shut down, I'd become gloomy and depressed. I think having clouds pressing down on your head also made me feel like there just wasn't enough space, enough air, and it made me feel all closed in.

Since late Saturday afternoon it's been like that here....I don't like it. So I'm finding colour in my life to help make me feel better. Here is a shot of my first mango of the season and the next one are some weeds at my front gate which have been dowsed in a mystery liquid by a mystery person overnight...staining the yellow flowers and my pavers blue. I hope it eventually comes off my pavers.

The Simple Things in Life Are Always the Best

2006-10-16T16:07:00.000+10:00

Had the extreme privelege and pleasure to see The Church perform at the Enmore Theatre on Friday night. WOW. Amazing musicians. Seriously cool music performed by the real deal.

The intense heat continued until Saturday late afternoon. Which was perfect for us as we'd also decided to head south and camp overnight in a national park near the beach.

The water was divine. Not cold like up here - which is usually the opposite way around.

Saw loads of dolphins. Tried helping a family after they managed to not only lose their anchor, but have a wave fill their boat even though the waves were tiny, and then have the boat washed up on shore. No matter how much we bailed and pushed the boat - they had to call to the coast guard to help them.

It's amazing how just a couple of hours out of the city clears your head. And a night in a tent, roughing it a little helps you realise you have complete abundance in your life.

unwound

2006-10-13T14:13:00.000+10:00

It's a scorcher out there today. At 9.30am the sun was boiling my brain. After 4 lengths of the beach I had to dive in.......and the 19 degree water temperature absolutely took my breath away. Just 2 dives under and I was out of there. 5 mins back on the beach my boardies were almost dry. It's still officially spring, but 36 degrees out there tells me it's SUMMER.

I'm re-reading the Tibetan Book of Living & Dying. If you haven't read it yet, please try to - it's so full of compassionate wisdom. And so I thought it was perhaps a sign today,of being back on the right path, that on 2 separate occasions I saw the beautiful magenta and saffron coloured robes of 3 women monks. Just seeing these women, on a busy city road pulling behind them a shopping cart, and then inspecting the garden at the front of their buddhist centre made me feel calmer. They just seemed so serene.

Another strange sighting was a cool new silver VW beetle with POLICE emblazoned on the back. When did the cops get so cool? Bizarre. Only in Bondi.

Bravo Diva!!!!!

2006-10-11T13:40:00.000+10:00

Madison Square Garden was stunned into silence for a brief moment when Barbra Streisand told a persistent heckler to "Shut the fuck up" in the middle of a skit about George W Bush.

Good on Barbra for firstly standing in front of a crowd and portraying Bush for what he is: a bumbling fool, and secondly for reiterating the fact that the "the artist's role is to disturb". More people with her power should be standing up and doing the same!!!

You rock Sista!

Ready & Loaded

2006-10-06T15:02:00.000+10:00

Last weekend was a long one here for the most of us....but I was in fact one of the few who didn't really have a weekend or a long one at that. But considering my normal lifestyle and weekly demands I guess I shouldn't be complaining.

School from Fri-Sun, and then my friend's wedding on Monday left little time for much else. So this week I feel like I'm just catching up.

Daily walks at the beach have kept me feeling sane and grounded, but I'm slowly feeling the pressure of the ever-mounting mass of homework and study. Breathe. It's huge and it's only going to increase before the year is over. I'm already realising that our planned summer holiday is going to be smack bang in the middle of me cramming for the exam not to mention that the practical side of the homework needs to be completed as well and it's Xmas with not a lot of people around or with much time to be able to give me.

Oh, and if you're in to tie-dye, just leave your garment wrapped in a messy bundle on the back window of the car for a few weeks and hey presto...random effect sorted. Or may be not.

Had to include this shot of this sweet strawberry being grown by my nieces. It's one of 3 & it's so very cute.

Happy birthday to Chrissie today!!!! Just 1 more until the big one sista!

tick...tick...tick...tick....

2006-09-30T21:25:00.000+10:00

Time keeps ticking on. I've been up to a bit of this. A bit of that. The huge hole of overwhelming sadness has disappeared and I'm feeling well supported by the universe and my angels. And now I so know that I've got another one watching my back. The funeral was beautiful. Filled with lots of love.

The sun has been shining. The sand between my toes stays stuck until I shower it off. The cool Pacific winds come and blow. The butterflies are madly dashing their first and final dance. The flowering of every tree and bush and cacti in sight is magnificent. But raining crap down all over my car. Afternoons are getting longer. I'm waking with the sun and feeling in sync with Mother Earth.

But the news reports are getting sillier than ever. Who in the world believes the crap and lies and hate coming out of Bush's mouth anymore? Ditto Howard. How could congress have agreed to giving the Pentagon another $US70 billion to fight wars based on lies? But I suppose I'm digressing....

Have a good weekend y'all!

L i F e

2006-09-25T07:53:00.000+10:00

Last Thursday I found a few minutes to sit down and update this blog. And minutes later I then got a call from my Mum telling me the shocking and sad news that my uncle had died - quite suddenly - from a heart attack - which now I realise was a real blessing because he didn't have to endure the hideous pain and suffering and slow demise that cancer brings anymore. He died 1 day before he would have been 61, and 1 day before their 27th wedding anniversary.

So the end of last week was a blur. But somehow yesterday felt different, better. Practising the buddhist mantra"Om Mani Padme Hum" and thinking of my uncle has really helped me and is helping him too. And I think there is a real acceptance coming from my family rather than any anger or bitterness which is so important and necessary for his soul at this time.

We also got back to normal life and settled on a car and bought it on Saturday. My idea of dealing with the dealer went by the wayside. I just wasn't in the headspace for that at all and didn't care in the end. So hopefully we take ownership of that later today.

And yesterday in the heat and wind 4 girlfriends had a last lunch before my oldest friend marries for the second time next Monday. She's going to be having a big Greek wedding so am looking very forward to that.

Finished the day off with a walk at the beach. It was still so warm at sunset and was the perfect ending to the day. Bushfires had been raging earlier, the air had that smoky scent and looking back towards the city you could see the filmy haze of smoke all over the harbour. So the word "tinderbox" has been used already by the media and it's only September. Scary. But hey Johnny Howard, you're probably right about global warming being just some crazy thing dreamt up by the hippie extremists.

s i s t a

2006-09-19T14:24:00.000+10:00

For SPC, here's one of my twin sister and I. I've spent more time with her than any other person in my life. I wonder why this time around we decided to come here together? We often try and work out whether we had a pact in another life, unfinished karmic business, did we love each other or hate each other? Or was it just mother nature splitting hairs?

It's actually her wedding anniversary today - well done S & M!!!!! She's a little under the weather and so are her kids and S is away working.....lots of love to you!!!!

Wheeling & Dealing

2006-09-18T13:44:00.000+10:00

We went looking for a new car for JD this weekend. I had been so resistant, not wanting to be spending my time doing such a tedious task as shopping, and then for a car at that. I'm not into shopping and I'm not into cars. I like them to be reliable and get me from A to B with the least amount of fuss and least amount of fuel consumption. But I can't often tell the difference between cars, and I certainly don't get excited by cars or how fast they can go or what the wheel trim looks like. I can barely remember the makes of cars let alone register the small differences in design and extras in the different models.

Anyway, Saturday morning after a nice walk at the beach we hit some car yards close to home...and I decided to change my attitude and just see it as spending a nice sunny day out...and you know what - it worked! It ended up being fun. The salesmen weren't sleazy or pushy or playing mind games as far as I could tell.

We've pretty much narrowed it down to 1 car....so now all that's left is the deal. Which I'm going to see as a game. I'm not going to get too serious about it, but I'm going to make sure we reduce the price by a few thousand at least....so let the games begin!

paths....places.....pizza?

2006-09-13T13:25:00.000+10:00

We've been back a bit over a week from our little holiday......and I feel like I've just about found my feet again, but somehow I know I'm resisting. Everyone usually has a bit of post-holiday blues, but I haven't so much the blues but just a realisation that there really are so many other ways to live a life. Which makes me start questioning so many aspects of my own life. And how I want to live it. Knowing that I'm probably about half way through this one if I die at the average age, and having an uncle who is fighting a serious illness and having a few deaths of young high profile people last week happen is probably reinforcing what was already going on for me.

So having said that, over the next few posts I also want to share a little of the lovely time I had exploring a small part of this magnificent state (NSW). We travelled the inland route to our final destination about 800km's north of Sydney on the coast (Byron Bay) and then made our way home via both inland and coast roads. It was all really magical.

Time Flies

2006-09-09T22:22:00.000+10:00

Just haven't got my act together to say anything lately. Since being on holiday and feeling wide open spaces I think something deep within has changed. Not sure just what yet, but I feel different. I have the feeling of detachment, indifference and being disconnected yet physically more grounded. Weird. Content but with a little stirring going on. I'll just observe things for a while and see if any further insights develop. Instead of forcing or coercing anything to a head I'll let the universe do it's thing.

This weekend is all about school. It's taking me a while to get my head back into this space, but it's another exciting phase...we're learning about pain management...and today I witnessed how some simple processes can eliminate pain all together. Awesome stuff.

Last Wednesday was the opening night at a cafe in Chippendale where a bunch of Sydney photographer friends and I have put together a small show. It was fun and it's just the beginning. This poolgirl shot is my piece.

Back sometime next week.

I'm Back

2006-09-05T09:41:00.000+10:00

Hello!!!

Just spent an amazing 10 days away. Away from a big city. Away from lots of people. In beautiful nature. In stunning countryside so close to home and can't believe I hadn't seen before. So many exquisite meals. So many exquisite moments. Almost 2500 km's driven. A $231 fine received for speeding. Ouch. Some very lovely people met. Lots of sunshine. Lots of rain. Gorgeous walks in ancient rainforests. Standing amongst trees that were more than 400 years old and 55 metres tall. And each time we found we were the only ones there - can you imagine having a rainforest to yourself....sublime. The Weed Shire. Sleep-ins. Hearty breakfasts. Beach picnic lunches. Whales. Lots of whales. Mothers and calves. Males exuberantly displaying and dancing. Heading south too early say many. Sugarcane. Macadamia nut trees. Bananas. Cows. Sheep. Goats. Horses. Beach walks. Shells. Hills and mountains. Rolling green. Greens of all shades. Stars. Milky Way. Abundance. Space. Peace. Love. The Promised Land. Delicious perfect coffee and chai in the middle of nowhere. Fireplaces. Almost no TV. No computer.

And did I mention the Love!!!!!

For SPC - from the trip: my entry above. Me & JD. Finding ourselves on another beach. We'd driven the car down onto the sand. The wind was blowing. The sun was near setting. Everything was so lovely. Find more SPC'ers here.

Goodbye Farewell Auf Wiedersehen Adieu

2006-08-23T11:19:00.000+10:00

See you all soon.....not taking a computer and not even thinking about heading into an internet cafe either.......my shoulders and back are going to love the break.

Handy-Work

2006-08-22T14:53:00.000+10:00

Just in time for our holiday I hope, the weather seems to be leaning towards summer....let's hope it stays that way until we get back. We're heading north about 800km's - which usually means about 4 degrees warmer and the last few days have been really warm (25 degrees) - I even got a little sunburnt from my extended walk at the beach yesterday. Just can't wait.

Despite that, last night I decided to call it quits to the idea of camping. Days are warm but nights are still too cold and I can't think of anything worse than being cold when the sun goes down and having no hot shower before bed which will make me miserable which will in turn make me unbearable to be around.

And of course I/We have left too many things to the last minute including many little car repairs. JD attempted installation of the new car stereo last night without success due to an imcompatible plug in adaptor thingo and then this morning as I started out with my long list in tow I discovered the blinkers weren't working. Hopefully we just disconnected something last night. It's kind of scary driving like that, having to use hand signals in a kind of over the top way, but what I found to my absolutute surpise was how nice and accommodating the other drivers were being towards me. Even a bus driver stopped on the other side of the road so I could turn, waived me on and blew me a kiss. I might have to use this tactic more often pretending not to have working blinkers.

Must away, have so many things to do.

fOOd is gOOd

2006-08-21T19:25:00.000+10:00

B E F O R E

D U R I N G

A F T E R

A Sunday in August

2006-08-20T22:18:00.000+10:00

Spent Sunday with part of my family. My Mum is one of 9 kids. For the first few years of my life we lived with her youngest brother, my Uncle John. We're closest with him and his family these days. He is battling cancer at the moment. He really isn't too well. I just want to hug & hug him and suck it all out of his body and make him well again. Sometimes he has certain expressions that my step-dad had during the time he was battling cancer. It has made me very sad. I totally get death, it's a part of life and I really feel I have a deep understanding of non-attachment and letting things be and pass and yet still know we remain connected but why do people have to suffer so much? Why the pain?

It was a gorgeous day. There were 11 of us. We feasted and we sat in the sun and talked and relaxed and hula-hooped and skipped and sewed and I felt very content sitting back watching us all interacting, watching us being a family.

Summer then Winter : Same Day

2006-08-15T20:54:00.000+10:00

And only this morning I'd heard the incredibly charismatic Tim Flannery talking about global warming, and the intensity of weather we're all going to be experiencing. I must buy his book, The Weather Makers - but have also just discovered his site of the same name. He's not all gloom and doom, and offers real advice about what we can all do on a personal level. One of the more interesting facts he was talking about this morning was the huge geo-thermal reservoir under south australia - apparently so huge and energy rich, this reservoir could power Australia for about 100 years. So why aren't we looking at harnessing this amazing and natural clean potential energy yesterday? No, let's all rely on fossil fuels til they run out. Let's continue to have wars in various parts of the globe because of oil and energy reserves. Let's all just continue to scrape our knuckles on the grounds dudes cos that's what it looks like from here you neanderthals!

Good Times

2006-08-15T08:21:00.000+10:00

Weekends have returned to being those special periods which I'm looking forward to all week again. With JD's return more things are planned, and catching up with friends and family seems more important than ever after such a long time away. Same too for having dinner in nice restaurants. Although this one then tried to rip us off by doubling the amount of wine we'd supposedly had on the bill - not cool guys, an expensive mistake if we hadn't realised.

We also had the pleasure of looking after Jindi overnight. So we had a great afternoon of singing, playing, violin practice, scootering around the house and Grandma even dropped in so she could measure and fit her properly for the Tinkerbell outfit she's making her for school book-week - she's going to look very cute.

Plans are in place for our upcoming road trip up north. We're leaving next Thursday for 11 days.

This weekend had that real edge of summer in it and therefore hopefully promises more of the same but even warmer up north. We're going to take a slow drive to our destination and a slow drive back, stopping at all those places we don't usually have time for. And hopefully discovering somewhere that is completely secluded where we can spend the day/s to ourselves.

And we won't just be sticking to the coast, we're going to drive inland and up into the higher country of the New England area and then on the way back do lots of the beautiful hinterland country that boasts amazing forests and walks and cool little communities. Road trips are the coolest.

So now I just need to book some of our accommodation, make sure the car is ready for the trip, get all the beachy stuff, esky, snorkels and flippers, tent down from the attic and wait patiently.

Keep on the Move

2006-08-11T10:00:00.000+10:00

I know I know I'm a sucker for a cliche sunset....but I just can't help but love and honour Mother Earth and her natural beauty.

JD left work early so we started our walk before sunset - a good thing because it was getting pretty icy cold out there.

Walk this way.....

.....and I did.

The sun had set and the tide was coming in and the poor seagulls even seemed cold.

I feel a bit crappy this morning. Another bad night's sleep. And my back is aching. For the past few months my back has been steadily getting worse. I thought it might be to do with our mattress not being turned often enough - it's too heavy for me to do alone and I've been waiting for JD to come back - so the first couple of nights were great.....no back pain, but last night was awful. Every time I moved position in bed my back ached and it woke me up. I don't know how people live like this - back pain ist SCHEISSE!!!!!! I don't know whether it's origin is in sitting too long at this computer, my desk being too high for me, not stretching enough and haven't done yoga for almost a year, aging, or the mattress. I feel best when I'm being active or walking. Enough whinging I'm boring myself and I need to get up and stretch now.

These Feet Were Made for Walking....

2006-08-10T09:40:00.000+10:00

I've been working again this week at my friend's shop....ugghh.....standing on my feet for 8+ hours a day absolutely hurts. I'm so not match-fit for this. My Mum is 66 and still wants to and does work 3 days a week. She's a pattern-maker/designer & cutter and so is only really on her feet the whole time. I don't know how she does it. Seriously Mum, how do you do it???

I feel like I haven't had any time for being creative or being still. Today, I'm going to have a long long walk. Being on your feet when you walk is energising as opposed to standing which is draining. I need to get those endorphins going. And then I might be able to finish that painting, or take some photos, or read, or study......

And maybe my restless nights sleep was because of this beauty.

Sunrise

2006-08-07T13:10:00.000+10:00

It seems like the only time I get my act together enough to be up for sunrise is when either JD or I are waking up early from jetlag. So Sunday morning we began the day like this. It wasn't a spectacular sunrise because of the clouds on the horizon but that time of the morning is so special and coupling that with it being wintery and quite cold we were almost the only ones down there to see it. Sometimes I think the beach is even more beautiful in winter than in summer. The elements seem more intense and more in your face and there is a better chance at solitude.
We had an evening walk on Friday night, after it had been raining all day. The wind was howling, but the sky was clear and the moon and stars were so bright and we were alone sitting on the rocks at the south end out of the wind feeling very connected to beautiful Mother Nature.

The Most Important Law You've Never Heard Of...

2006-08-06T18:16:00.000+10:00

So I could blab on about the incredible past few days I’ve had and bore you all senseless with my happiness, but I won’t just yet and instead will make this post not about ME but something very important.

GetUp are about the only guys informing us about something very dangerous about to happen to the very heartland of Aboriginal Australia - and neither the traditional owners, nor you, have been warned.

Under the guise of promoting economic development for indigenous Australians, the Federal Government wants to ram through new legislation this Tuesday that actually jeopardises future generations of Aboriginal livelihoods. It's quite possibly the most important law you've never heard of.The law will amend the iconic Land Rights Act, stripping away power from one of the only true representative bodies, the Land Councils, while pressuring Aboriginal communities to hand over control of their lands for 99 years. With profound disrespect, many of those who this new law affects most have not even been told. While the government claims the 99-year leases are voluntary, traditional owners are being cajoled into signing away their rights to their land just to secure basic services that we all deserve, like houses and schools. The Northern Territory is flourishing with indigenous culture and living languages. Yet, all Australians know there are also many deeply confronting problems - and all parties agree we must urgently find new ways forward in partnership. Land is the best asset that Aboriginal people have for economic development. Not one Australian economist has argued that taking land or leadership away will deliver positive economic results - even the conservative Minerals Council of Australia thinks the Government is on the wrong track with its attack on Land Councils.

The economic case has not been made. The social consequences are untested. And traditional owners have been excluded from this decision that will deeply affect them for generations. Please help stop this before it's too late. Tell your senator to delay the vote until they have done their due diligence as lawmakers, and sufficient time has been made for the traditional owners to be properly consulted.

---------------------------------------------

Having just seen the exquisitely stunning Ten Canoes which needs to be seen at the cinema to appreciate the cinematography and sublimely precious land and culture of the top end, I felt compelled to share this email from GetUp with you all. For those non-Australians reading, you can't help right now but knowledge is power and if the international community know what's going on down here our governments will hopefully not be able to get away with it.

REUNITED

2006-08-04T12:34:00.000+10:00

Went to the Bob Evans/Bertie Blackman gig last night at the Annandale and thought long and hard about staying up until I had to drive to the airport to pick JD up - but a long hot shower at about 2.30am was like a sedative and I got in 2 delicious hours of sleep. But waking up in the middle of the night was pretty revolting, and then the plane was late, and on arrival at the airport when half of JD's luggage still hadn't arrived after all the other passengers were long gone I could barely keep my eyes open.

I'm the one who's feeling jetlagged right now, but who cares - not me!

The Colour of Light

2006-08-02T20:55:00.000+10:00

And today went something a little like this:

C r A z Y f O r C o Lo U r

2006-08-02T09:03:00.000+10:00

Waking up to a darkish overcast sky this morning makes me crave for bright colour. Colour and form and the combination of both - that's what it's all about. Sometimes I wonder how differently we as individuals perceive colour. We all know the names of the major hues but the subtle differences are much harder to differentiate. JD is colour blind. He perceives some greens and reds as browns and purples as dark greens - really weird. One of the images above has had the colours altered - can you tell which one?

SPT - SPC

2006-08-01T09:35:00.000+10:00

Here is my SP this week and it is simply a reflection of where I like being most - at the ocean. Taken on Saturday with the sun absolutely beating down, the sea was perfect, there weren't many people around and it just felt completely blissful. Bondi is my favourite city beach. It's different everyday and always beautiful. Having just now discovered there is a challenge in place for August (I hadn't seen it until now), I'm going to adapt this to suit the theme and will try harder next week I promise. It's meant to be about enclosed spaces - so I'm now going to waft on about the fact that these vertical lines cage me in, like how society's norms also enclose me, box me up, define me. So this SP is but a mere reflection of one part of me and not the real me.

More SPC'ers here.

The Countdown Has Begun

2006-07-31T15:30:00.000+10:00

There is definitely a whiff of summer in the air. Time to slap on the 30+ again. And time to start doing rather than thinking about some sort of fitness regime.

I've been sitting in front of this computer far too much lately. So much so my lower back has started to hurt. So since I last spoke I've decided to reduce my time here - and my back has already started thanking me.

The last few days have been very nicely filled with harbour jaunts, meeting friends, another 40th birthday party, school all day yesterday, and basically imbibing natures gifts. So I'm a tad jaded today and am in desperate need for an early night.

Only 4 more sleeps........

Green with Envy

2006-07-27T09:55:00.000+10:00

Some of the reasons why I wish I'd spent a summer in Germany with my angel.

Just got these from JD last night. I'm so glad I know where these were taken, I know the roads he took to get there. But I experienced all this in winter, which is so incredibly different to summer. For the last 2 months, they've been getting temperatures way up in the 30's - it's a heatwave there. He's so hot he can't sleep at night while I'm lying in bed hugging a hot-water bottle. It's such a big beautiful world. Tomorrow next week we have reunification. Can I just express how mildly ecstatic I'm already feeling.

SPC - Me as a Marimekko Print

2006-07-25T13:44:00.000+10:00

I've always loved this design company. I'd love to work for them, or have a design taken up by these gods. I'm sure most of you agree, and I'm sure alot of people have been consciously or unconsciously influenced by what has been coming out of this Finnish hub of creativity for more than 50 years.

More SPC'ers can be found here.

So Many Paths So Little Time

2006-07-25T13:35:00.000+10:00

My weekend at school ended rather dramatically. I'd been balancing a fellow student and we were making incredible progress, she was having the most amazing insights and I had absolutely no doubt about the accuracy of what was being uncovered. And then BANG, her body showed me something that when we articulated it together was so shocking for her that she actually went into physical shock. I was able to calm her down but then after about 20 minutes when we were already to leave she went into a series of panic attacks and my teacher asked everyone to leave and she dealt with her alone. It left me feeling really uneasy and helpless and somehow her state had infiltrated me. It was only yesterday after speaking with my sister that I realised that I should have insisted on staying there with her, finishing the process, or even just observing how my teacher finished the process with her. It would have been the best learning experience for me and I would have had real closure with my client. Probably because I was still emotionally attached to her I was unable to separate how she was feeling from myself. I was so exhausted last night and at 1.30am I was still awake. But I did sleep well and this morning I feel rested and myself again. What a relief. Kinesiology is a seriously powerful therapy and I'm feeling more excited than ever with these incredible tools I'm learning that can facilitate another person's personal growth.

3 Years Old

2006-07-24T23:32:00.000+10:00

Yesterday was a blur of exhaustion so this is late - and because we celebrated my youngest niece's birthday most of the day - [Happy Birthday beautiful girl]- I'm back posting it.

It was the most chilled out kid's party of all time. And us adults had hours and hours to eat and talk and really have proper conversations because the kids were so content and low maintenance. It really was the perfect situation for me to be in my fragile condition. Jindi took the day off school and she was the Events Director and the perfect little hostess and party nanny.

We then had a nice family dinner with my Mum too that rounded the day off nicely. And because you can't sing Happy Birthday and blow out candles enough when you're 3 years old.

P.S. Doll and Jindi aren't the girls real names - I've had people comment on the names before saying how cool they are but these are just some of the names I call them....and their parents would rather me not use their real names too.

Air Water Fire....

2006-07-21T20:41:00.000+10:00

Work was fun. It's not a cafe but a cool fish shop which this little seaside place hasn't got one of, which is very strange. I've never worked in hospitality before and so I only know it from the other side, but it was incredibly easy to be friendly with the very chilled out local clientele and the hours flew by and I didn't mind being like a production line at times. And when I finished I stumbled out into the gorgeous golden hour just before sunset and it was truly stunning.

This guy and his bike were enjoying the view all by themselves and then I came along. He didn't seem to like it. Like I'd intruded on his special place at this special time - so I didn't stay as long as I'd liked.

Black cockatoos are so beautiful and graceful. These 2 were all alone and were a sign for me about JD & me - so of course I was grinning from ear to ear.

I love the edges of clouds. They get wispy and burn off and morph into other clouds. The sunsetting behind this one exaggerates that effect because the edge looks to be on fire.

A friend has just dropped in on the way home and illuminated me with hilarious anecdotes from a book launch last week by a couple of acquaintances of ours who are absolute fakes and frauds and somehow know the right people but apparently after the launch may have just about buried themselves - hopefully.

School again all weekend. See ya when I see ya.

Up Down Round & Round

2006-07-20T14:30:00.000+10:00

ENJOYING: Eucalyptus oil washed floorboards, sparkling clean bath, crisp new linen on the bed & cupboards and fridge full of wholesome and not so wholesome goodies - yup it's been a morning of chores.

HATING: Realising JD will be home exactly 10 weeks to the day after he left makes me extremely unhappy. Yes guys, his trip got extended by another week. In the past 10 months we will have been apart more than 6 months. This is so totally fucked. He sent me this image of some lavender growing in his Mum's garden. I'm also jealous about missing summer in Europe, I'm jealous about him visiting our little French restaurant in Magdeburg, and I'm missing him.

SURPRISED BY: My 1st painting this year is almost done. And I’ve been loving it. My usual hatred just doesn’t seem to be there when I look at it – I hope my friend feels the same when she comes to pick it up.

ANTICIPATING: Tomorrow I’m actually working. Don’t all fall over. Well really just helping a friend out at her new seaside café. I’m really looking forward to it. They’re busier than they expected in their 1st week open so hopefully this is a good sign for her and her partners.

Early to Bed Does Not Necessarily Guarantee You a Good Nights Sleep

2006-07-19T09:42:00.000+10:00

I was in bed before 10pm. Since JD last left it's been more like 12am or later. At 2am I awoke in a sweat after nightmare 1:

A tsunami had hit Bondi. I was able to hang onto a coastal tree branch and take the full force of the wave against my body. There were 3 more surges. I was getting exhausted and my hands were beginning to ache. And I was getting pissed off with some people who'd also taken hold of the same tree as the tree roots were beginning to give from the weight of all of us. The feeling that the tree wouldn't hold anymore and the tide being so high beneath us was frightening. I aborted the dream quickly. I couldn't get back to sleep. All I kept thinking about was having a real escape plan in place for us if we're at the beach and this happens: which way will we run, which building would be strongest to take the force of the wave, where's the quickest highest point from the beach. It was driving me nuts.

And then at 5am I awoke in a sweat after nightmare 2:

This is a stock standard dream of mine with slight variations and which is a bit too personal for here. But basically leaves me feeling desperate, alone, disbelieving, hurt and crying - crying so much that I'm crying as I wake up. And usually the feeling lasts the whole day. It's hideous. And again I couldn't get back to sleep.

Being woken out of semi-sleep by JD at 7am was fantastic because then I knew that night was over.

Self Portrait as an Insignificant Speck of Dust in the Universe

2006-07-18T17:21:00.000+10:00

Go check out some seriously good entries at SPC headquarters.

Fun in the Sun Before it Disappeared

2006-07-17T22:30:00.000+10:00

A day without Chai is never as good.

Slides are fun.

Especially together with your sister.

Their laughter is so infectious.

Just a little bit happy.

I can do my own makeup.
And I'm going to be 3 in 1 week.
I can't believe they're growing up
so fast.

The Weekend

2006-07-17T07:13:00.000+10:00

Breakfast 11.30am
Lunch 5pm
Dinner 10.30pm

Breakfast 11.45am
Lunch 5pm
Dinner 9pm

I seem to have lost my rhythm.

Feeling very sore in my left butt - gluteus medius & gluteus maximus I need to work you harder more often. Ten Pin Disco-Bowling with a bunch of kool cats and one stiff dude was FUN!

Feeling pissed off and outraged with Israel's attacks on Lebanon. And very concerned this could lead to a massive world war. It all seems a little extreme considering that it's about 2 people being kidnapped.

Breathe in Breathe out.

Surry Hills

2006-07-15T12:26:00.000+10:00

Can't Get Warm

2006-07-13T18:26:00.000+10:00

My hands are aching from an ever increasing stagnation of my circulation. I've been for 2 walks today and I just can't get warm. I sat in the sun for an hour and my gas heater has been blasting hot air into my house and that's not helping either. I need a warm body to snuggle. A hot drink. Lots of ginger & chilli in my food. Actually maybe I need some alcohol?

Despite the cold weather, I was still able to find some beautiful and interesting things in the neighbourhood to keep me amused.

And a Happy Belated Birthday to you Connie - I know you're reading.

2006-07-11T14:16:00.000+10:00

At 9.30pm last night I finally got JD a flight home. For some weird reason, the travel agent hadn't warned us about the problem with having loads of different flights on hold. We'd had the 11th, 24th and 28th and then all of a sudden we had nothing and then we had the 17th even though we didn't want it. The airline deletes stuff at whim when it detects more than 1 flight being held. JD's company would rather he stay on in Germany until the end of Stage 2 and luckily there was 1 seat left on the 26th. Phew. But that means another 2+ weeks away.

I unfortunately have no proof of the incredible whale we saw today. I just couldn't focus and click fast enough. But it was magnificent. Being down at sea level adds a whole other dimension. We were at Bondi enjoying the beautiful weather when I saw a puff and then a huge black and white body glided out of the water and back in. The whale was enormous. It was so close, in the green water. My sister's in-laws from Perth couldn't believe it and the 4 cousins were screaming they were that excited. The beautiful whale came out a few more times in the same gentle way and then it was gone. It was lovely!!!!!

Winter seems to have disappeared briefly. Look how many people are in the water!

Can't Stop Yawning

2006-07-10T15:11:00.000+10:00

Feeling and looking haggard today. It's been a full weekend. Late nights and early starts. Dinner with friends. Long phone calls with JD. Birthday party. Farewell BBQ. Kids Party. Old friends. Family. Lots of driving. Traffic jams. Open roads. It was all nice but glad it's over.

Celebrated my brother's birthday for the first time ever. He turned 40 so it was a special one. Looking over at my Mum's face at one point in the evening, beaming with joy was priceless. So I've been with him in person only 4 times now, and it's so weird looking into his eyes. There is definitely something in them that is so familiar and so deep and beyond what I can put into words but at the same time I'm very much aware of the fact that until September last year if I'd passed him on the street I would never have known he was my brother. Thank God he and her are finally reunited. He never bargained on siblings in the mix, and he thinks it's very cool.

Glad the sun is shining today. My nieces came to my house this morning and they brought such lovely energy with them. We played and sang and scootered and googled stuff and I've got some new drawings for my wall.

Now I'm just waiting to hear from JD about whether his company is cool about the fact that he can't leave Germany yet. The latest drama being that we cannot get a confirmed seat for him until the 24th July. Yes, in 2 weeks time. I'm somehow so resigned to the fact that I'm not bothered at all. And I know they're so tight they wouldn't pay for an upgrade. He is now well again and his Dad has been released from hospital and is back in the home getting the proper care that an Alzheimer patient needs. Thank you everyone for your kind loving well wishes - I am touched.

Mystery Bugs

2006-07-06T14:40:00.000+10:00

The news from Germany isn’t really improving. JD is still unable to get out of bed and now his Mum has contracted whatever it is and so has a friend that had helped them at the hospital. His Dad was almost released from hospital and then they changed their minds because he now has pneumonia, is fighting an infection and they still can’t pin down what everyone is suffering from. Luckily JD’s brother is taking time off work and has come to look after everyone. Such bizarre times. Thankfully the sun is shining but the heatwave temperatures aren't helping at all.

School Holidays Can Be Painful

2006-07-06T14:30:00.000+10:00

It seems every mother and their child went to Centennial park today. It was seriously out of control. I went for a walk with a friend and her child and then ran into another friend and her new born and we all had to agree (even though they are mothers with prams) that en masse like that it becomes pretty revolting. There were bugaboos everywhere ($1500+ prams), and the designer blankets and clothes and toys and top of the range 4-Wheel drives everywhere – the money walking around in front of us was staggering.

A conversation overheard while waiting in line at the café went something like this:
Woman 1: So have you done anything exciting lately, anything new?
Friend: Oh no, not really. Well I had a baby, and we’ve totally renovated the house. Oh and we went for a 2 week holiday to Queensland.
Woman 1: Oh that’s nice.
Friend: Yes, we haven’t been down to our place at Gerringong (less than 2 hrs away) since baby was born. We usually try to get there 3 or 4 times a year. We really must get back down there soon.

Can you imagine having a holiday place that close that you only frequent 3 or 4 times a year???

But what did make me smile was this comment by a cool looking Dad to his young son who had been continually going up and down the slide for at least 15 minutes that I'd witnessed:

C’mon boy, let’s move, you’re stuck in some algorithmic loop!

Moods Swinging in the Breeze

2006-07-05T15:30:00.000+10:00

What a funk I was in yesterday. I felt so flat and like hibernating. I then forced myself to go for a walk when the rain had stopped and the sun was shining and I knew it would be good for me - and it was - my mood lightened, I was smiling at the black cockatoos, and the squawking sulphur crested ones and babies passing me in prams and the huge puddles everywhere provided endless scope for imaginery worlds and new perspectives and I'd felt the shift I'd been searching for all day.

This morning I got up to watch the Germany-Italy game and just wasn't there in spirit and ended back up in bed soon after. And when JD called me, telling me the latest bad news about himself now being very ill with some weird stomach virus (perhaps the same one FD has) my inane questioning about who'd won the game was weakly answered with "well, the streets are very quiet here which means we probably lost". He is completely weak and dehydrated and not himself at all. I can't help but feel that something is stopping him from getting on a plane to come home.

So with this added distraction to start today, and this feeling of helplessness and distance from JD I seriously couldn't have asked for nicer outcomes. A girlfriend dropped in with her young son for tea, and then I met my nieces and sister for a spot of whale watching. It was so brilliant! There was a pod of at least 6 whales, probably more it was hard to tell, and they slowly made their way past - which took about an hour. They were close and they were playful. They were breaching and creating enormous splashes. I've seen a lot of whales before but this was simply the best I've seen. My photos will never represent how amazing it was but here's one.

Hooray good news - just spoke with JD and even though he had the most revolting night, he has been able to keep water down for the past hour and is feeling more human but still not great. Phew. But I can't relax until I know he's better and know exactly what's happening with his Dad.

Go All the Way Deutschland

2006-07-04T21:59:00.000+10:00

I hope the Germans can beat Italy tomorrow morning. Do it for the home team, for JD, and do it for Lucas Neill & the Socceroos!!!!! Must go to bed now so I can get up for it.

Half a Planet Away

2006-07-04T08:41:00.000+10:00

Usually I don't get hung up on the distance between here and Europe. It's only a telephone call away (minussing 8 hours means it's even the same day), or an email or worst case scenario is just a 24 hr flight away. But when you have a loved one who's experiencing a critical health condition, and other loved ones who are experiencing sadness & stress, the massive gulf of the 21,000+ km's feels horrible. Ever since speaking with JD last night my head and heart are torn and I'm hovering somewhere midway above Earth - not really here and obviously not there either.

Both JD and I had been so excited about his return this Thursday. We were going to have a few days off together - which he especially needs after his gruelling hours over the past month. But that all fades into insignificance and feels trivial when I think about FD's suffering right now. Still no diagnosis but he's stable. Maybe he just had some sort of weird virus?

Delayed

2006-07-03T21:15:00.000+10:00

Fallingbostel - where FD grew up.

I've just spoken with an extremely sad JD. His Dad has been taken to hospital. His Dad has had Alzheimers for 7 years now and has been in a frail condition and now something dramatic has happened but without a diagnosis at this point. I've just changed JD's flight which would have been tomorrow evening until next week at the earliest. I'm so glad he was still in Germany and spending the the last couple of days at home. I am ready to get on a plane any time I need to but I hope I don't need to.

Monday Monday

2006-07-03T15:47:00.000+10:00

The canvas I had made to order has been picked up from the art supplies shop and is leaning against my fireplace staring at me all white and empty. Now I just need to start painting. A friend has commissioned me to paint something EXACTLY like a painting of mine. The problem is, I painted this 3 years ago. And I'm not in the same headspace as I was then. I wonder if I can really replicate something I did so many years ago. I can't even remember the process. It's going to be interesting or maybe not.

Got my results back from last module and I'm extremely ecstatic about my HD once again. Not that I'm bragging or anything. I'm also really enjoying the balances I'm doing on my family. It seems that we're able to reach a level of intimacy that we don't often reach in normal everyday discussions. If this would be the only thing I get from my study it would be enough because I feel like the peeling back, accessing and exploration of feelings I am helping my dearest loved ones achieve is a true gift and this is helping all of us on our paths. Not to mention the health benefits they receive with energy flowing in all the right places.

This morning the ocean and the pool together with a stormfront coming were magnificent. I looked after my nieces while my sister went for a swim in the freezing 14 degree icy water. Don't know how she does it and I'm jealous I can't.

And I have just received a wonderful gift from the lovely Q-60's Girl - thank you so much!!!!! Your lovely gesture has touched my heart and I can't wait to get into these books tonight. After some homework.

And finally, some nice links from some photographers who've inspired me:

wolfbialon
my little johnny rotten pony
nardell
michel thomas
hinke

Perfect Afternoon

2006-07-02T10:36:00.000+10:00

2 years + 11 months old

6 years + 4 months old

It was a beautiful day and ended with a beautiful sunset.

Addicted

2006-07-02T10:07:00.000+10:00

I’ve been eating at least 2 of these every day for the past 6 months. Passionfruit have been my favourite fruit since I was a little kid. This year it seems like the passionfruit are never-ending. Every week my grocer has a huge display of them and so I keep buying them. They must be coming from offshore somewhere which I usually try not to buy (support local buy seasonal is my usual policy) but I can’t stop myself when it comes to these delicious little gems. Passionfruit are also an excellent source of vitamins A and C, potassium, iron, and fibre (the seeds) and smaller amounts of calcium, magnesium, phosphorus, sodium and sulphur and B Vitamins. Every week I fear that my supply is going to dry up and then what am I going to do???

Blessings

2006-06-29T16:46:00.000+10:00

Another day in paradise. A pod of whales were frolicking off South Bondi this morning. They didn't come in close but seeing their spray, and a few mini breaches was the perfect kickstart for my day. And hasn't it been a lovely one? All yours again my darling in just 1 more week. Not that I'm excited or counting or anything.

SPC: PopArt Final - Look in the Mirror

2006-06-27T14:59:00.000+10:00

I feel so sad about the debacle which saw the Socceroos booted out of the World Cup early this morning. It isn't fair or just or deserved. The referee needs to have a good long hard look at himself in the mirror and hopefully never make such a bad decision again.

More SPC'ers over here.

0:0

2006-06-27T01:53:00.000+10:00

Nil all is better than being behind at half time, but we've had some scares. Alot of them in fact. Australia look good but so do Italy. We've had way more possession though but when Italy had the ball they seriously did more with it.

Good luck Australia, my fingers and toes are crossed!

-------------------------------------------------

I'm not changing the title of this post despite the fact that Australia were beaten. Not so much as beaten by the better team but by over the top and ourageously inconsistent officialdom. It seems that there really should have been more penalties given during the game if the lunge by Neill was considered unfair play. Go figure.

Bravo Australia - it was another brilliant game played and I'm so sad you guys didn't get to leave the competition in the manner you deserved.

You're all winners to me!!!

We Love You Socceroos!

2006-06-26T19:12:00.000+10:00

Australia vs Italy in less than 7 hours.......aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

12 degrees is COLD!

2006-06-26T11:58:00.000+10:00

After 3 days of sitting on my butt, I needed to move. My circulation feels bad, my hands and feet are cold and seeing a beautiful blue sky I thought I'd have morning walk at the beach before meeting my plumber and inspector from the Waterboard. But it was so bloody freezing. I hadn't dressed warmly enough and had bare feet - bad decision. The sand was hurting my feet it was so cold. I aborted mission when I looked up at the temperature display on the surf club - it said 12 degrees - ouch! I couldn't believe people were swimming without wetsuits.

And on the way home my plumber calls me to tell me the inspector has called off the meeting today, and pushed it to Thursday this week. I didn't believe a word and called the inspector myself who told me he hadn't cancelled. I feel like such an idiot for having paid my plumber the whole amount last week - because what's in it for him now to come back to my place? Or is he now trying to piss me off by wasting my time and setting up appointments that he cancels?

This weekend's module was pretty full on. I had the pleasure of giving someone a pretty amazing and deep balance. The goal she had set was one she has been working on the entire year and this weekend we cracked it - she allowed herself to really surrender to the process, and most importantly trusted me enough to open up and divulge and be honest about what the issues are that are holding her back. I feel like I've made an upwards shift in my development as a Kinesiologist which seriously motivates me and reinforces for me that this study is so important and I'm so completely motivated. I love it!!!

And I realise that my idea to share my favourite links on Mondays hasn't really happened since the 1st one.....so I think I'm going to rename it "Monthly Monday Linkages" - and that way I'm sure to not let myself down.

The One and Only

2006-06-23T09:22:00.000+10:00

Eleven years ago tonight, my step-father passed. I remember looking at the moon the night after he died, and it was just a sliver of moon, but it was placed like a smiling mouth in the sky. It was dead straight ahead of where we were driving and I pointed it out to my Mum. It was such a beautiful sign for us. Brian had suffered a long time battling cancer, and during that time our immediate family - my sister and Mum and I tried to come to terms with it all - and the biggest help was reading "The Tibetan Book of Living & Dying". In the final hours of his life we sent him loving energy and approval and acceptance for him to go - my Mum especially so because their attachment was huge. Being with him, sitting at the foot of his bed, with my Mum and sister either side of him we all experienced the most wonderful gift, the most precious exchange of energy and love and intensity. Life and death and the process was so completely present in the room and with his last breath a huge energy came out of him, all over my Mum and into the room, it was light and heat and tangible. It touched me so deeply that all I could do was smile and send him on his way. And then the tears came. It took me several years to really get rid of that gnawing pain of grief, that hollow empty feeling that you feel in your gut and heart and throat. Today is different, the grief has gone. But I'll never forget how important he was for me and my understanding of life, his love, the good times, and for making us a family.

Just to further put things in context, the beautiful experience of passing 1st hand was repeated again when my nieces were born. I again had the privelege of being present, and all I can say is that the exact same presence of energy was in the room as the babies came out into the world as when Brian passed out of the world. I felt this physically in my own body all 3 times - like a huge welling of energy and a definite sense of being connected to that energy as well as an all consuming presence of GOD or whatever you want to call that. In my short life (ok, so I know it's not that short anymore) I can honestly say I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet to have had experiences like this.

It's Dark Outside But The Fires Are Warm Within

2006-06-23T05:59:00.000+10:00

1-1 at half time. It's been a nervous 1st half for Australia. After the Croatians scored within the 1st 5 minutes we needed to level up quickly but it took half an hour. Phewww......Getting up at 4.45am wasn't too bad......and I've possibly already hurt my throat screaming after we evened up the score. Better quickly go make another cup of tea.

With fingers crossed - I hope I next post with an Australian victory behind us.

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OH MY GOD - WELL DONE THE SOCCEROOS!!!! THIS WAS AN UNBELIEVABLY TENSE GAME OF FOOTY. I WAS SO NERVOUS I WAS SWEATING. SO TODAY IS REALLY ONE OF THOSE DAYS THAT WILL GO DOWN IN AUSSIE SPORTING HISTORY. LET'S HOPE THIS DREAM CONTINUES PAST OUR NEXT BIG TEST AGAINST ITALY. I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'VE MADE INTO THE FINAL 16.

BRAVO GUYS!!!!!! BRAVO GUUS!

I'm Hot, I'm Cold

2006-06-22T12:25:00.000+10:00

Huge G'day to my old friend Nancy in New Jersey who tells me she's now reading this old blog!!!!! This is Bondi 2 days ago - I can't wait to bring you all here.

It's raining again today. Pouring on and off again. Thank God it was fine on Monday and Tuesday so the plumbers could work and didn't have to traipse mud through the house.

Tomorrow I begin Module 5 of my studies which means I'm half way through for Year 1. This year is flying! So much to learn and so little time.

And I'll now leave you with a little haiku, inspired by Kt, a most charming and ridiculously intelligent friend and that US soap that's been around for decades:

Like sands through the hour glass
So are my songlines
Through this precious land of ours.

Mittelpunkt

2006-06-21T17:19:00.000+10:00

Every time someone has asked me lately how long until JD gets home, I've been answering with 4 weeks. But I've just checked and it is exactly 2 or less. My strategy of not keeping track of the day this time has paid off and it has been far easier to handle.

Last night I watched "Walk The Line". Loved it. Cried quite a bit. Think both Phoenix & Witherspoon's performances were outstanding, convincing and seriously had their own life on the screen. Highly recommend - 4 stars.

The rain returned today. I hope it fell in the country too.

Today is the Winter Solstice or the Summer Solstice depending on where you live. I wrote a list of things I want to change about myself, aspects of myself I don't wish to be or demonstrate anymore and then burnt the list. Sunset tonight was just before 5pm. Goodbye short days.

SPC June PopArt

2006-06-20T10:48:00.000+10:00

Andy Warhol's quote that "everyone will be world-famous for fifteen minutes" has always stuck in my brain. Warhol's obsession with fame, youth, and personality is very interesting. And it seems that this obsession is becoming more prevalent. TV shows like Big Brother and Survivor and all the other reality-tv spinoffs prove just this. The contestants on these shows want the fame and viewers are obsessed by them. Even when the shows are over. Not to mention gossip magazines and the way the music industry has headed. We care more about what celebrities eat for breakfast than global warming. We care that Nicole gets her romantic wedding this time around instead of worrying about the lack of funding to the Arts sector. Very strange stuff indeed.

So do you want your 15 minutes????

I Feel Bad

2006-06-20T09:51:00.000+10:00

Yuck what a morning - I hate confrontation, and standing up for what I think is right, when I don't know exactly what is right.

Yesterday we started the final stage of the new plumbing work so we don't have anymore of those ugly incidents. It all cost an absolute fortune, there are compliance issues, certificates are needed for works done and the Waterboard needs to make inspections and our neighbours who had the same problem want to know that the works we've done is all kosher and hasn't damaged or hindered their work etc etc - basically a whole bunch of stuff I really don't know anything about and I'm handling it all by myself.

So even though the job was quoted at 2 full days - it was all over by 9.15 this morning. I'd called the Waterboard earlier asking for information about what I should expect from the plumber on completion of the job - and I did this because at the end of Stage 1, the plumber kept putting off sending me an amended receipt for the work - because the wording was all wrong and I just didn't want there to be issues like this again, especially if we're able to get this back on insurance.

Let me point out though that the plumber and his assistants are all lovely guys and I felt totally comfortable having them in my home and I trust they've done excellent work because they manage themselves professionally, but JD and family had been adamant when they were telling me to get everything before paying the whole amount.

So the guys have packed up, and my plumber presents me with the receipt and the compliance certificate. We debated for a good 10 minutes about how this isn't exactly the compliance certificate because the Waterboard haven't inspected yet and it's more like the application. This goes on and on with him telling me this is what he always does etc etc and I'm starting to get nervous, and irritated, and less sure about what I'm saying but know I can't do this......so when I say to him well I'll pay half now and the rest when I receive new diagrams etc from the Waterboard he isn't shy about telling me he isn't happy. So without any other options I asked him if it's cool if I call the Waterboard and ask them a few questions. He agreed, and after we were put through to the inspector for my area himself, an appointment for next Monday had been made. Phew. I apologised for making my plumber feel like I didn't trust him and thanked him for everything, but I know he thinks I'm a mega bitch from hell. This feels horrible.

I called the Waterboard inspector back and thanked him for helping me out. He agreed that the plumber had been too casual about it all, and if there were any future problems I have now covered myself. He was also confused about why the plumber hadn't organised the inspection considering that he'd paid for it (or rather we'd paid for it as it was in our quote). He also told me that these sorts of problems actually come back to bite you on the butt, especially when it comes to selling a house because the sewarage diagrams are all wrong and don't make sense. I complimented my plumber because I don't want to rubbish his name at all, but he really wasn't doing the best thing for us by doing it that way.

It's all over now - and now I need to get out of the house and breathe some sea air.

Valiant in Defeat

2006-06-19T08:54:00.000+10:00

So we lost 2-0 but it doesn't really matter. We were playing the World's Best after all. And at the end of the game the Brasilians were swapping shirts so that can only mean RESPECT.

I was speaking with my darling JD throughout the game, who was watching from the historic Domplatz in Magdeburg with his work colleagues. The huge crowd were loving how the Aussies were playing and the German commentary was completely impressed too - speaking only praise and admiration. The Germans are seriously having a lovefest with Australia during this World Cup and it seems like the feeling is mutual. All reports are saying that the Aussies cannot believe how generous and friendly and hospitable the Germans are and the Germans are adopting the Aussies into their hearts and because I know what the Germans are like 1st-hand - once you're in you're in, and the friendship bond will never ever falter. Which makes me feel very proud of the Germans because I do think they tend to get a bum steer by the rest of the world and are often completely misunderstood. And proud that we Aussies, who are a pretty endearing bunch when you scratch beneath the yobbo surface are being embraced in this way.

So I am feeling completely envious about not being able to share all of this atmosphere. If only my studies could allow it. JD had also just spent a glorious summer day on a motor-bike (a Suzuki 1200) travelling the secondary roads and passing fields covered in poppies and all sorts of flowers and summer crops. This is how we spent the summers together - packing picnics and jumping on the bike, throwing a blanket down in a field and hoping the farmer wouldn't come along, buying berries of all descriptions from the grower and stuffing our faces, driving through beautifully scented forests and crossing rivers on tiny punts. The summers 96-99 in Germany were amongst the best I've ever lived.
Which is reminding me how badly we need a scanner because that whole time was documented on slide film only - and it's been a few years now since we've had the projector out.

Nil All So Far

2006-06-19T02:51:00.000+10:00

Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. The Aussies are playing pretty well - played some good defensive footy and really disciplined, and the Brasilians aren't looking in normal let alone good form. Hopefully this mix works for us and we can keep the ball out of our net next half.

I set my alarm clock for 2am, and missed the whole anthem stuff which is a pity. I hadn't got much sleep in because something was going down nearby around midnight. Cop cars driving so fast, and sirens I've never heard before going on and on - so I'm not sure what they were, and then helicopters hovering. I'm sure I wasn't dreaming it.

A dandelion tea, a quarter of a block of Almond Black & Green's and a bowl of Kettle Chips under my belt - I think I'm easily going to stay awake until the end of the match.

So fingers crossed that I'll be posting tomorrow some time and the score hasn't changed or only moved in the right direction for us.

Go Socceroos!!!!!

It's Sunday Again Already

2006-06-18T16:24:00.000+10:00

A friend was in town from Brisbane so a bunch of us met up for dinner in Bondi. Jindi is now the oldest of all the kids - I remember when she was the first.

Doll was taking a photo of me with my step-dad's old camera.

How can trees still be producing colour like this in winter?

Not being a regular coffee drinker anymore, after yesterdays 2 latte's, Chai was all I could think about today.

Hope your weekend was swell.

Tonight Australia takes on the brilliant Brasilians in München. It's going to be interesting!!!!

Chocolate Maths

2006-06-16T13:39:00.000+10:00

OK, just received this via email - which usually I detest, but I like this one, probably because it's about chocolate. Give it a go and see if it works for you like it did with me. Go on.......

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate
(more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1756....
If you haven't, add 1755.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number, right.......

And the first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week) and the next two numbers are YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!). This apparently works for this year (2006) only.

f R i D a Y : r E d

2006-06-16T13:12:00.000+10:00

I don't know the name of this tree but it produces these gorgeous seed pods which break open into these glorious red flowers, making this bare winter tree so beautiful. The bright blue behind it is the same sky we've had all week. The skies are so clear and cloudless, and on waking this morning I was able to stare out of the window and into a black sky with stars. Really such a nice way to start any day.

T h U r S d A y : B l U e

2006-06-15T08:43:00.000+10:00

It was a toss up between showing you an image of the sea or the sky. Everything here is so blue and bright. But I choose this image because of the sheer power in the ocean. Which I find awe-inspiring. These waves were huge, slow and gentle and moved a long way before they broke near the shore. Why we don't harness the energy from the ocean that surrounds our continent and country is beyond me. Same goes for capturing the sun's energy. It's such a no-brainer. It's renewable. It's clean. And best of all - it's abundant.

W e D n E s D a Y : b L a C k - G r E y

2006-06-14T09:04:00.000+10:00

The full moon a couple of days back was so stunning. I was mesmerised. As I started to make dinner on Monday night, it felt like a neighbour was shining a huge torch in the window - so I looked out and saw the hugest moon. It was glorious!

Self Portrait Challenge : PopArt

2006-06-13T13:33:00.000+10:00

Not sure if you can call this popart, but with my tools and expertise this is all I can come up with today. It's also kind of green & gold, the colours worn by our winning Socceroos last night! Can't wait for our next match against Brasil.

T u E s D a Y : B r O w N

2006-06-13T13:19:00.000+10:00

If I hadn't eaten all the Green & Blacks Organic Almond Chocolate last night, I would have taken a photo of that to represent Brown today. So this is a beautiful wall just around the corner from my house. I love the old style smaller brick they used for the facade.

M o N d A y : W h I t E

2006-06-12T15:50:00.000+10:00

Mav & Stephanie have come up with another top idea - a week of COLOUR. If you want to join in, just post 1 photo each day:
monday is white
tuesday is brown
wednesday is black/grey (not a B/W photo)
thursday is blue
friday is red
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I loved that the sun was shining today, and so we went down to the harbour for a picnic. It was so rejuvenating. I've missed the blueness and the brightness of a sunny day. Tonight the Aussies take on the Japanese in Game 1 of the World Cup. Go Australia!!!!

I'm Famous

2006-06-11T22:25:00.000+10:00

Flickr is so cool. An artistic friend of mine has used an image of mine (I'd posted here a while back when I was so proud of this skirt I made) - in her web design for the Australian Women's Archives.

This is the first time any photo of mine has been used in a public way (outside of this blog and flickr which I realise are very public and googleable) and was made possible by Flickr. Thank you!!!!

A Weekend in June

2006-06-11T21:15:00.000+10:00

The rain and cold continue. It's a real winter this year and I'm loving it. I love this radical change in season. I love rugging up and wearing lots of layers and all my jackets from Germany and beanies and scarves. I love feeling that the climate can still make a cold winter and rain is falling. Tomorrow the swell is going to be huge - 3 metres or something, like how it used to be when I was a kid and not like this past decade. Sydney has seasons!!! And yesterday Europe had a scorcher - all I can say JD is soak it up because you'll be indoors again all next week.

Had a fantastic night. Possibly the night of the year. Our dear old friend AJ had his 40th and put on a cool do down at Coogee for a whole hoarde of us. It was a night of catching up with shared friends that you just somehow don't get to see that often anymore, but everytime you do you realise how much you love them and how much they mean to you. I am always amazed and feel very blessed to know some amazing people.

It ended up being a late night. If I'm up past 1am, then I can go and go and then have to force myself to sleep, knowing if I don't that I'll feel really bad tomorrow. Sometime after 3am I went to bed and woke quite early but decided to just lie there for a few more minutes thinking I'd just enjoy the warm sheets against my skin and listening to the wind howling outside a little longer - and then was rudely woken at 11.08am with a telephone call.

And today we celebrated the impending birth of a friends baby and then later on my bro-in-law's birthday which was really last Thursday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY SM!!!!!!!

Bubbles Don't Belong in Your Eyes

2006-06-09T12:32:00.000+10:00

Several times this week I thought the rain had gone away enough to have a beach walk - and then I'd arrive and so would the wind and a downpour.

Caught up with some lovely souls again at another Sydney flickr meet. But this sake put me to sleep.

My nice hot shower before bed last night resulted in tears. Lots of them. I've got a pump style lovely organic flaxseed with orange bodywash and sometimes the opening gets a little clogged. I hadn't noticed this and pumped once and WHAM a whole load of soap straight in my eye. It was horrible. Knowing that flushing the eye out with water was only going to spread it and make bubbles made me just want to get my tears happening instead. My eye felt raw and scraped. It was so red and this morning I really do look so lovely, it's still puffy and I look stoned.

So me and my fellow students are meeting with our teacher tonight to air our concerns and worries and basically vent out frustrations. I've got a bit to say to her because there have been some things happening that I'm not happy with but I'm not feeling the venom some of the others are and I'm kind of scared about how heated things may become tonight. Let's all breathe deeply now.

I was so happy and so relieved to hear from JD this morning that success may be just around the corner in this project. Please please please. He's under a huge amount of pressure and has been working ridiculous hours and it makes me feel so helpless that I can't be there to help him feel better. I've also been dreaming so much about Germany - walking the streets of Hannover. When I lived there I thought it was boring and was often heard whinging about this and that that was wrong or missing about the city - and now I feel nostalgic about it. And TD is heading off there tomorrow to work on The World Cup and then the cricket - and basically be paid to watch top notch sport in Europe for the summer. Some of us do have a hard life. Fingers crossed to JD & TD catching up and downing a few German beers together. Good luck also to the Diegels who should be leaving today for Germany - I hope you're all well enough to fly.

It's raining here again today after yesterdays respite and glorious blueness. Everything feels so clean.

W i N t E r

2006-06-06T14:04:00.000+10:00

Pouring rain. Icy cold winds. I saw most of yesterday through the windscreen of my car.

And sat practically on top of my gas heater once I'd come back home. And ate so much chocolate I couldn't sleep until 2am.

Seasonal change is very cool.
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Huge congrats to Lis & Andy and welcome to their baby Max, born on Sunday close to midnight. And Renate I hope your stay in hospital is brief.

SPC - PopArt

2006-06-06T13:09:00.000+10:00

After all the rain we've had these past 2 days, this self portrait is a bit like a dream - how I'd love to be lying on a beach and soaking up the heat and sun right now. Enjoying the beach is a huge part of my life and we're lucky to have about 8 months a year of beach weather here in Sydney and so many gorgeous beaches to choose from depending on the wind direction or the crowds or the wave size or where in Sydney you live. I never want to live too far away from the sea. When I do, it makes me feel claustrophobic and like I can't breathe. More SPC'ers here.

Linky Links

2006-06-05T11:50:00.000+10:00

I'm starting something new. I want to make Mondays all about links - links I would like to share with you because they've inspired me in some way. And copying mav I'd also like to share with you some of the beautiful images that have touched me.

* Bob is a fellow SydneyPhotoblogger and has his own cool site happening with really cool podcasts. He shares with us wisdom and peace.

* Kimbofo has closed down her daily blog, but her Reading Matters blog is so jam packed full of the most interesting stuff you've just got to check her out. She's brilliant.

* Sarsaparilla, a brand new blog about literature, media, and culture, from Australian points of view

* helen morgan

* mindfulness

*slight clutter